what is the common 'language'?

Language is created by mankind as a tool for communication. When we communicate, our aim is to share or pass certain information to another person. Passing information is only one side of the story. In order to communicate effectively, the information shared needs to be understood by its intended audience.

Herewith exist the problems that have consumed mankind since eons ago. In parent-baby relationship, we often hear the term 'baby talk', which is a method of communication where parents talk to their child using self-created language which is unintelligible to outsiders not within the circle of parent-child bonding. Somehow, even though no one taught us how to talk in baby language, we tend to feel like 'yes, the baby understands me better if i talk this way'. I would term this, communication of the intended mind or heart. It involves not only voice, but also a lot of arms and body movements to catch the attention of the baby, as babies are attracted by big movements. Somehow, even though there is no common language devised for parent-baby communication, humans have gotten along fine in this aspect.

The problem in communicating, ironically, seems more apparent in relationships between grownups. When young child grows up to become a teenager, oftentimes parents have a hard time communicating with their child. The reason for this is beyond the scope of this writing. My question is, if there truly is a great desire for both sides to communicate, or to be understood, why would this stage be more difficult than when the child is a baby? The young teenager would already have mastered at least 1 spoken language, and it 'should' therefore make communication simpler. However, we know this is not the case. Perhaps it is because we have simply failed to desire for the other person to understand us. We take things for granted, that they have now learned spoken language and would therefore understand every word we say. Such a common scenario illustrates the double edged sword that language can be, powerful yet destructive if not properly understood.

Similarly, in relationship between man and woman, boy and girl, problems in communication often wreck havoc even after some perfectly nice time. It is said that Men are from Mars and women from Venus. Perhaps it is true that the way men and women think can never be the same, or they can never look at the same thing from an identical perspective. When an argument arises, both sides would want the other to listen to what they have to say. But is listening enough? Or is the spoken language a tool powerful enough to be the common platform for understanding two different mindset?

Perhaps the most powerful language of all goes back to when we are babies. We communicate with joy and laughter when we are happy, we cry when we are sad or in pain or hunger, we show extreme curiosity when we see something new, we sleep when we are tired. We speak no words besides the occasional "ee, oo, aah, ..." but everyone around us seems to understand us and love us. (of course there is a possibility of adults being higher in tolerance towards little cute babies) Perhaps, spoken language adds confusion because of its complexity. The gestures and language we used when we are babies are simple, few and commonly understood.

So what would be the common language between men and women? Perhaps the common language is not even a spoken language. Think about the power of hug. Sometimes when words cannot mend a breakdown in communication, a nice warm hug can be the solution. We understand what a hug is, and we can sense the sincerity of a hug. It is an intimate form of communication, yet not too intimate to be used in the public if the need arises. Whether we are from Africa, America, Europe or Asia, we understand the intention of a hug, and also we know the other person will understand us. That is the true common language.